The bathroom & kitchen list

• The two-room theory
• The bathroom shelf
• The kitchen shelf
• Herbs, honestly
• The placement map
• The splash-zone bonus
• Both rooms at a glance + full pet-safety table (cats & dogs, per the ASPCA)
• Your steam schedule & two-room shelf plan

I'm not a botanist, and I don't have 150 plants — I keep a windowsill's worth, and I've killed a few learning how (a Calathea in eleven days is how this whole thing started). When something goes wrong I go down the rabbit hole: the studies, the extension-horticulture pages, the 2am forum threads, and every horror story plant people send in on @leafjournal on TikTok. These guides are that mix — hands-on experience checked against the research, cleaned up and told straight. No lab, no sponsorships, no “trust me.” Just what actually keeps a plant alive, so yours isn't the one that learns it the hard way.